Wanna know what’s happening in my Portland neighborhood this week? Well a 33 year old woman woke up Monday morning to a douche bag masturbating above her. Say what?! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to wake up to an attractive (sane) guy masturbating above me, but c’mon – we all know that’s not socially acceptable behavior. Also, Look at his picture – super gross! He kinda looks like a character from The Dark Crystal – and you know I don’t trust anyone who looks like a muppet. Sadly the pervert got away. The police got a description of the incident and promised to be on the look out. They didn’t have to do much though. Later that day, the masturbating dick (lol) strolled over to PSU (just a couple blocks from my house, btw) and began stroking himself near a female student on the second floor of Lincoln Hall. Campus security was alerted to the situation and rushed up to take the man into custody while they waited for policemen to show up and arrest him.
Uhm, first off – I know we are in Portland and it’s relatively safe, but c’mon – lock your fucking door! Have you visited Burnside lately? We’ve got some really “colorful” peeps who are a few chicken mcnuggets short of a happy meal if you know what I mean. Second, girls and girly guys like myself – grab a rape whistle or some mace. I’m glad that no one got hurt by mr. can’t-get-enough-of-himself-while-creeping-up-on-girls.
So want to know how this story gets even crazier? This guy, James Ray McNeil, is a registered sex offender with seven felony convictions, twelve misdemeanor convictions, and seven probation violations. Why on Earth is he out “roaming” the streets of Portland? Why isn’t this fella in prison? He seriously has had 26 chances to rehabilitate/reform/blend in with the rest of us and yet, he continues to fail. Adding to his abundance of prior convictions, he is now being charged with public indecency, failure to register as a sex offender and second-degree criminal trespass in connection with the incident at PSU, and first-degree burglary and first-degree sex abuse in connection with the “I’m masturbating above you while you sleep” incident.
Sigh. I really hope no one pays his $306,000 bail.