Dear Embers – Thank you for hosting one last hurrah before you threw in the towel. Your “Last Dance” party to say goodbye was epic, and apparently the entire city of Portland showed up. We will miss you!! Thanks for the 50+ years that you shined bright like a diamond for the entire gay community here […]
I peed on Donald Trump, and now you can too!
I peed on Donald Trump on November 4th at Doug Fir Lounge in Portland. I giggled out loud when I walked up to the urinal and saw him staring at me with his mouth wide open waiting for that golden shower. I’m normally pee shy and can’t pee when someone is staring at me. Maybe it was […]
Oh no! Bandits broke into our sexy mayor’s car!!!
See that guy there? That’s my buddy Tim. He’s my mayor. Jealous? You should be. I mean, look at that killer bod! How is it that this guy is single?? I mean, seriously! Who wouldn’t want to tap that?? (sorry for the inappropriate honesty, Tim – I hope this doesn’t make things awkward the next […]
Apparently I danced for 15 year old American Idol finalist, Daniel Seavey, last year (watch the video!!)
I got a text message last night from Misty, one of my co-managers. It was a link to a YouTube video and some text that said “is that you dancing?” I clicked the link and knew what it was even before I pressed play. That was Kristen and I dancing on 13th Street in The […]
I’m Dreaming of a Moist Christmas!
Hooray, Christmas time is here!!! Portland kicked off the season by throwing a moist parade yesterday. (LOL, I love the word moist.) This parade had everything. Down syndrome elves, ginger horn blowers, lesbian peppermints, homeless children dressed as bears handing out drugs, a drunk Santa Claus, oh and look is that Fiona Apple twirling a […]
They caught the Portland masturbater! (or is it masturbator?)
Wanna know what’s happening in my Portland neighborhood this week? Well a 33 year old woman woke up Monday morning to a douche bag masturbating above her. Say what?! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d love to wake up to an attractive (sane) guy masturbating above me, but c’mon – we all know that’s not socially acceptable behavior. Also, Look […]
Lily Allen sold out? F word!
Where’s Lily Allen? She’s literally a couple blocks away from me right now. Yep, she’s playing to a sold out crowd at the Crystal Ballroom and I am totally missing it! Where should I be? … in the front row The front row with popcorn I get to see you See you, close up Craigs List […]
portland firefighters = yummy
Ok, so let’s be serious for a few minutes. If you happen to live in Portland, and you check out all the hot firemen that pass you by, you can totally agree with me on this one… Portland has the hottest firefighters in the entire world! The coolest part is that they are never putting out […]
He whispered “the first rule about tall club: don’t talk about tall club.”
So there was this random guy totally staring me down for awhile, but I was busy helping someone else. He walked around pretending to look at the various items we had for sale, but his eyes kept raping up on me. I was slightly creeped out, but then I remembered that I was in Portland and people here are just weird. After I […]