Several laws went into effect throughout the nation on January 1st. While most of them made me yawn, I found a few gems hidden in there. Can you guess which states let you 1) purchase pot from Taco Bell, 2) be homeless and have Oprah give you food stamps, 3) time travel to 2014 so that you can have a high minimum wage, and 4) get a two week all-expense paid vacation any time a family member dies?
If you like to do pot (lol, I just found out that I’m saying it wrong – I guess I’m supposed to say “smoke pot” not “do pot”) you should move on over to Colorado where it just became legal to buy at a gas station. That’s much more convenient than going through some random dealer, right? Wanna know what would be even more convenient? Drive. Through. Marijuana. Can you imagine if Taco Bell started selling marijuana at their drive-through? “yeah, I’ll take your variety taco 12 pack and a large cup-o-weed please.” Seriously, what a brilliant idea! People would love to get baked and then eat some delicious Taco Bell (or so I assume.) I think I’m on to something awesome here, what do you guys think?
If you’re homeless in California, this is your lucky year! You are now eligible for food stamps and you don’t even need to have a job!! Woohoo! It feels like California just went Oprah on the homeless population – “you get food stamps, you get food stamps, everyone gets food stamps!!!” (I can totally picture her flailing her arms around with her eyes all big and crazy.) I hope the gift of food stamps entices the homeless population of Oregon to move to sunny California. I’m going to print out some flyers and start passing them out on Burnside. Thank you, Arnold!!
And then we have Oregon. We got a few new laws in 2014 that are pretty cool. Did you know that Oregon has the 2nd highest minimum wage? Washington may be the highest at $9.32 per hour, but Oregon was just raised up to $9.10. We are the only states that pay more than $9 per hour. Damn, it makes me remember how I made $4.25 at my first job – holy shit that was awful. If I could turn back time, I’d go back, hop in a DeLorean, and set my flux capacitor to Portland in 2014 (it made sense in my head.)
Another new law in Oregon forces employers to give employees two weeks of bereavement (paid time off) if you have a death in your family. While I don’t want anyone in my family to die, I sure could use a two week vacation! (oh God, that’s such a horrible thing to say – I’m going to hell for that one… Oh and also because I like a man’s touch.) Seriously though, I think it’s awesome that Oregon signed these two items into law. Way to go Oregon! I’m super proud to live inside of you.
What new laws passed where you’re from?